Home
by Miss Peg
Summary: Emily finds herself on the streets with little more than the clothes on her back. When a kind stranger picks her up and takes her home she discovers that home isn't necessarily the place where your relatives live.
1. Chapter 1: On the street

**Title:** Home

**Author:** Miss Peg

**Rating:** T

**Characters: **Emily, Naomi, Gina and some random OCs

**Summary: **Emily finds herself on the streets with little more than the clothes on her back. When a kind stranger picks her up and takes her home she discovers that home isn't necessarily the place where your relatives live.

**Disclaimer: **Emily and Naomi have never been mine...I like to think I can claim some ownership over Gina because we know so little about her, but ultimately she doesn't belong to me either.

**Notes: **Thank you to Kvaker81 or cheering me on and because the idea of this story (well the later chapters) are inspired by her story Desert Eagle.

**Home**

The clothes on her back had started to smell that morning but she tried to ignore it. Emily bent down pretending to tie her shoelace as a passer-by raised his nose in her direction. If only she had had a shower before she left or better still thought to pack some soap or deodorant. She had already used up her only change of clothes. The man's eyes followed her down the street, something she would have to get used to. She slipped into the nearest café and, despite several pairs of eyes focusing their attention upon her, snaked between the chairs towards the toilets.

Emily pushed herself rucksack first into the only vacant cubicle and after twisting and turning herself and the bag around, she pushed the lock closed behind her. The most important task was making herself appear clean and presentable. She could hardly wash her clothes in the sink and carry them out of there. She feared doing anything whilst someone was in the next cubicle. The toilet next to her flushed, the lock clicked open and the hinges squealed like mice scurrying away from danger. She listened to the tap running, the soap dispenser squeezing out liquid soap and paper towels being pulled, screwed up and thrown haphazardly into the bin. As the door banged closed behind the toilet's previous occupant then and only then did Emily feel safe unlocking her own door.

She went first for the lock on the main door to the toilets, securing it to avoid any unwanted visitors. Then she unzipped her jacket and hung it carefully on the back of the door. It was already covered in various unknown stains but Emily couldn't avoid the force of habit hanging her coat up to protect it from the public bathroom. When she slipped her t-shirt over her head goose bumps travelled down her arms until her bare skin became accustomed to the cool room. She reached out to the soap dispenser until her hand filled with pink soap, ran the tap and began to create a lather which she worked into her armpits. She longed for a razor to trim her growing underarm hair. Instead she made do with a quick wash.

Next she pulled her trousers and knickers down around her ankles and worked a second lot of soap into the folds of her skin. The whole process left her feeling dirtier than before she began, her dignity slowly dwindling in the face of her recent actions. It wouldn't be the first time she had to wash in a public toilet. Someone knocked on the door and a woman's voice called out to her. In her haste she knew the soap wasn't all gone but she pulled her underwear back up around her hips and returned her trousers. Once she'd replaced her jacket she unlocked the main door and disappeared out past the waiting women. A ship in the night. She would never see them again and chances were they wouldn't see her either.

As if nothing had even happened, Emily continued down the road with an unnatural spring in her step. She had little to be happy about and yet she didn't want the world to see her for what she really was; a young homeless girl with nothing to her name and no one to turn to. Her insides churned with hunger as she passed a bakery, another café and a Subway one after the other. She salivated uncontrollably and wondered what would happen if she followed the usual process in Subway only to run off with the sandwich once it was in her hands. She couldn't do that. Her mother had brought her up too well to give her the skills and confidence needed to walk out without paying. Instead she walked on by, forcing each foot in front of the other as her stomach groaned loudly. An elderly couple glanced up at her as they exited the café. They gave her that same look of sympathy she'd been getting anywhere she went, as if people knew.

Eventually the hunger grew too great that Emily stopped on a corner, lifted her hood over her greasy hair and held out a hand. She had only tried begging once before and had failed miserably, now she lacked even more confidence the task was almost helpless. Tears strolled down her cheeks like water on the edge of the sink, waiting until the very last moment before travelling at speed to the depths below. She dropped her bag at her feet and sat on the floor with her legs crossed and her hood covering her face like a yob. She hunched her shoulders over and took great gulps of air with each indescribable sob. Then someone dropped a two pound coin in front of her. She looked up, wiping at her cheeks with the sleeves of her jacket but the person who had given her the money was already long gone.

A long while after she sat on the side of the pavement turning the coin over in her hands. The Queen's head made her smile like photographs of her own family used to. She could spend the money. That's why she had been given it; for food, for cigarettes, for whatever she pleased. The crowds on the street continued filing back and forth on missions for clothes and food. She longed for the days where she was like any one of them, with a time limit she wanted to stick to, with a list of things to get done before the last bus home. She recalled walking along that street and ignoring the beggar that posted himself permanently on the opposite corner. She'd looked at him once, really stared into his face and he hadn't looked that old, she remembered thinking that he should really be at home with his family. If only she knew then what she knew now, maybe she would have tried to help him instead of brushing him off with a hand. Or worse still, allowing her sister to shout abuse at him about buying drugs and not really needing their help. She couldn't remember the last time she saw him. Was it any wonder that people who lived on the streets fell into drugs when there was little else to do? Perhaps it would have been better to be high instead of face the world she was living in, just like everyone else.

The bustling crowds eventually disappeared leaving behind a gentle flow of people still lingering in the city centre; business types who rushed for the next bus, groups of teenagers travelling home from school, a mother pushing a pram and dragging her toddler along behind. The sun set and there was little she could do as darkness drew in. She eased her weary limbs up and slung her rucksack over her shoulders. She didn't really know where to go so she started walking along the high street. A well-dressed couple watched her walking towards them and when their paths crossed they moved into the road as though she had some kind of disease.

The reversing beep of a van wailed out from a side street until it turned onto the road and sped off away from the shops. Emily glanced down the dark alley. She had barely considered what she would do that night, as she had the night before. Wandering aimlessly because what other option did she have? She could set up home in some backstreet and hope it was good enough but the strong smell of rotting food and decaying rubbish made her stomach turn. She could manage for one night. Halfway down the alley she found a pile of cardboard boxes which she rearranged into a makeshift bed. It was cold down there on the floor and the evening was still young, but she zipped up her jacket, retrieved the small blanket from her bag and curled under it. Once night had fallen she didn't really want to be awake, so she closed her eyes and dreamed of all the things she once loved. Even if she couldn't sleep again that night it didn't matter because behind her eyes was all the happiness she needed to get her through.

In the night the rain began to fall soaking the cardboard boxes and leaving Emily in sodden clothes. The last time she had climbed out of bed in wet clothes she had been about seven. The shame of being soaked, despite knowing it was not her fault, brought the red out in her cheeks. She gathered her belongings and carried them out onto the high street where she hovered under the overhang whilst waiting for the shopping centre to open. A small crowd gathered and she found her way into the middle to disguise herself with the strangers. But as she walked along the tiled floor with her shoulders hunched up around her ears and her hood covering her head a man tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to leave. She tried to listen but once he had told her about the rules and hoodies, she was too ashamed to let him see her face that she ran for the door. The rain didn't stop for some time and the overhang shelter was barely enough to protect her from the elements. She reached her bright red, shaking hands into her pockets in the hope of keeping them warm. She lifted the coin from the day before out of one pocket, an unexpected surprise that brought a smile to her face. She knew then that her decision to save it had been important.

The barista in the coffee shop looked her up and down with furrowed eyebrows. Emily closed her eyes for a moment then ordered a hot chocolate. She didn't want to feel ashamed for being there because she was a paying customer and so had as much right as anyone. Is that what her life had become? Embarrassment, shame, fear. Tears crept into her eyes as she carried her hot chocolate to a table in the corner. The mug warmed her hands and as she sipped the boiling liquid it travelled through her insides to the tips of her toes leaving her a little happier. If she had access to a hot drink every day then maybe she could have survived living on the streets. The worst thing was the hunger pains, but she'd grown used to not eating. She didn't think she would ever get used to the cold.

The longer Emily sat at the table the less reason she had for being there. Her mug of hot chocolate had long since emptied and she only stayed because it was warm and dry. The wind howled outside and the rain bashed the windows. She watched the weather, she watched her empty mug and she even watched the woman clearing tables on the other side of the shop; anything to avoid going back outside. Eventually the woman reached her table and with a disgruntled expression asked if she was finished. In other words, it was time to leave.

She made a quick dash across the road and along the high street searching for somewhere else to go to keep dry. Not that her clothes had had much time to dry out. She opened the door to a phone box and stood inside, staring at the payphone. They didn't have many of them anymore because everyone had mobile phones. Emily couldn't remember the last time she'd had to use one. She lifted the handset and watched the screen flash up. Twenty-pence was left from the last caller. Once upon a time it was enough to make a call, not anymore. She pushed her hand into her pocket and pulled out the twenty-pence change she'd got from the coffee shop. She dialled her sister's number, a number she knew all too well. When she greeted her on the other end of the phone the money ran out and Emily was left listening to Katie's voice shouting abuse before hanging up. She tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat but no avail. It didn't matter that it rained outside anymore; she pushed open the door and, carrying her rucksack down by her side, walked slowly along the high street in the rain.

How had her life come to this? Why had she chosen to walk in the rain when she could go home and try to sort things out with her family? If they even wanted her to; they were the ones who asked her to go in the first place. She tried to remember a time when Katie had spoken to her like she cared but all she remembered was Katie shouting abuse down the phone a few minutes earlier. On the other side of the high street she sat on a bench and dropped her rucksack at her feet; her tired and weary feet that were wearing down the insoles of her shoes. Someone sat beside her and bent down to tie up his shoe. He didn't seem to care how close he was to her. Emily looked over and smiled at him. Maybe not everyone was all bad. Then he ran off and it took her a moment to realise that the bag she'd place on the floor was now on his back halfway down the main road. She jumped to her feet and ran after him. Her short legs and weary feet didn't help the race and eventually she gave up, falling to the floor with great sobs. There was nothing she could do now. She didn't even have a blanket or a change of clothes. She had learnt the hard way the ways of the street but there was no way out, no Maid Marion to take her away from this life.

A hand pressed down on her shoulder and she turned to look up at a woman who smiled down upon her. A large toothy grin that reached her eyes, a genuine smile that Emily hadn't seen on anyone in far too long. She didn't know the woman and yet she allowed her to lift her to her feet and half carry her down the road.

**Please review. :)**


	2. Chapter 2: The Farm

**Title:** Home

**Author:** Miss Peg

**Rating:** T

**Characters: **Emily, Naomi, Gina and some random OCs

**Summary: **Emily finds herself on the streets with little more than the clothes on her back. When a kind stranger picks her up and takes her home she discovers that home isn't necessarily the place where your relatives live.

**Disclaimer: **Emily and Naomi have never been mine...I like to think I can claim some ownership over Gina because we know so little about her, but ultimately she doesn't belong to me either.

**Notes: **Wow. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the first chapter of this story. I'm glad that everyone is enjoying it and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter just as much. Also a massive thank you to everyone who has put it on their alerts. I wasn't expecting such a great response.

A special thanks to all of the anonymous reviewers who I couldn't thank individually; **M, anne, LoveNAOMILY, Nick-Name and someone else who didn't type in a name**,it's great that you can all read and comment despite not being members. Also to **Empty fuck off **who just added it to their alerts, I love your username, it makes me laugh every time I see it in my emails.

**Home**

**Chapter Two: The Farm**

The car had travelled out of the city centre, along the main road before the large dual carriageway turned to a single road which halved again to a dirt track. Emily awoke as the car juddered and jerked along the bumps and holes in the road. She reached out for her bag and searched the small back seat. Her eyes darted back and forth. What was she doing there? The place was warm and dry; a coat had been laid across her body, the corner damp where she'd dribbled against it. Her cheeks turned crimson.

'Nearly there now,' said the woman driving the car, someone she had never met before. She swallowed a hard lump in her throat and fumbled with the wall of the car.

'It's okay love,' said the woman, turning briefly with the warmest smile on her face. Emily reached for the latch and tried to push the front passenger seat forwards.

'Don't do that,' said the woman, her smile never faltering. 'It's broken on that side, wait 'til we've stopped and you can climb out this way.'

Emily's heart thumped inside her chest, battling with her ribcage like someone might fight with the door on their first night in prison. She was being taken somewhere without her consent, however much she tried to justify what was happening the only thing she could think about was that nobody would ever know she'd been taken. Nobody knew where she was anyway, so why would they miss her?

'Where are you taking me?' she said, sitting back against the seat and watching them travel further down the dirt track. She didn't recognise the road or the countryside surrounding them.

'It's alright,' said the woman, that smile was beginning to grate on Emily's nerves. For all she knew it was the face of a killer. 'I'm taking you to my home.'

_To push her in the oven and bake her like Hansel and Gretel._ She had heard the stories as a child, tucked up in bed ready for a fairytale only to be scared out of her skin at the thought of someone taking her away. She had had to sleep in Katie's bed for a week. Her sister wasn't there to protect her now.

'Who the fuck are you?' she shouted. The car slowed to a stop and the woman climbed out without a response, she pulled on the seat latch but Emily didn't move. She had some control over her destiny. If that was sitting in the back of the tiny car until she could figure out how to escape then so be it.

'Very well,' said the woman. 'I'll be up in the main house when you want a feed.'

She then pushed the door closed behind her leaving Emily alone. She waited for her to lock her in, or worse still, drag her out kicking and screaming. Then when she disappeared through a door Emily expected her to come back with some big muscled man. When no one returned, Emily decided that maybe the woman wasn't going to hurt her after all.

'Hello?' said Emily, knocking on the door and pushing it open. On the other side a cat sat on a staircase washing its paw and a younger woman pushed it out of the way to walk down to where Emily stood in the doorway.

'She picked up another one then.' The woman rolled her eyes and walked down the hallway. Emily tiptoed forwards following her cautiously. At the door the woman turned around and glanced at her. 'Come on then.'

Emily pushed her shoes off her feet and rushed down the hallway towards the woman. The last thing she wanted to do was trail mud through the house. Through the doorway was the kitchen, a table sat in the middle with chairs surrounding it where the young woman sat. The older woman stirred three mugs and carried them carefully over to the table.

'Finally,' she said with that same smile back on her face. 'I wondered how long it'd take you.'

'Where am I?' Emily asked, clutching the door. She didn't think the woman was going to murder her anymore, but that wasn't a reason not to be cautious.

'The Farm.'

'I can see it's a fucking farm.'

'No need to get angry.' The woman placed the third mug in an empty spot at the table and signalled for Emily to sit down.

'Can you blame me for being worried?' She sat. 'I don't even know who you are.'

'Mum! You didn't tell her?' said the young woman, glaring at her mother and rolling her eyes.

'She was sleeping.' The mother rolled her eyes in return and focused her attention on Emily. 'I'm Gina, Gina Campbell and this is my darling daughter Naomi.'

Emily smiled up at them from the steaming hot drink which heated her quickly from the inside. She wrapped her hands around the porcelain mug and ate the biscuits she was offered hungrily. It suddenly occurred to her that as much as she didn't know who they were, they didn't know her either. She was reluctant to offer any information. They were still strangers after all.

'Andy's cooking up a feast in the Chop House; will you join us for some dinner?' asked Gina. That smile was something Emily found herself warming to, had she met Gina under any other circumstance, she'd probably have considered her a lovely, warm person.

Emily creased her brow. 'Who's Andy?'

'He lives here too,' said Gina.

'He's one of Mum's many waifs and strays,' Naomi said with an eye roll.

'Is there somewhere I could clean up?' said Emily.

'Of course there is,' Gina said, a little shocked that she hadn't thought to suggest it sooner. She stood up and cleared the mugs. 'Naomi'll show you to the bathroom. Would you like to take a shower? Naomi, get her a towel and some soap.'

'Yes Ma'am.' Naomi saluted to Gina with a smirk and left the room.

'Get her some spare clothes too,' Gina shouted as Emily closed the door behind her.

They walked up the stairs by the front door in silence. When they reached the top Naomi asked her to wait, so she stood in the middle of the landing with little more than doors to look at. The one Naomi had disappeared through stood ajar and Emily watched as Naomi moved across the room before emerging with a pile of clothes.

'Wasn't sure what you want to wear. I got you a couple of choices.'

Emily smiled her thanks and followed Naomi's direction into the bathroom. The room had been nicely done up and far exceeded her expectations. The last bathroom she went into had left her confidence in tatters. She ran the shower as she undressed. Despite the door being locked and Gina and Naomi knowing she was in there, Emily still covered herself up as she stripped off. The water, once it was the right temperature, felt like a welcomed relief from the days she had spent caked in her own filth.

'Dinner in fifteen,' Gina said, knocking on the door.

The gentle stream of water had sent Emily off into her imagination where she dreamt of being on a desert island standing under a waterfall. The loud bang shook her back to reality, a reality she wasn't quite sure she wanted to be returned to. She hurriedly washed her hair and borrowed a disposable razor sitting on the side of the bath. When she climbed out of the shower she stood in the towel for a few minutes trying to decide what to wear. Out of the skirt and jeans, she picked the jeans, simply because she hadn't had time to shave her legs. Then she opted for a t-shirt of a pig which made her laugh. The clothes felt alien to her. She squeezed her hair until as much water as possible had been soaked into the towel before carrying her dirty clothes downstairs to the kitchen.

'I'll wash those for you, put them in the basket,' said Gina, pointing to a wicker basket by the door. She dropped them in. 'I'll start a load and then we can get you some grub.'

Gina took the basket into a small utility room off the kitchen and set the machine going, then Naomi joined them and they left the main house. Across the courtyard only one window was lit up. Whilst she walked, Emily looked around her. She had only been on a couple of farms as a child. The one she had visited almost every year since her little brother's birth had a small animal enclosure and they went to pet the animals for most of his birthdays. It also had a café and a farm shop. The second she had visited on a school trip in primary school, they went to learn about milk and eggs. Katie had slipped over and fallen into some cow poo making her cry. Emily smiled at the memory. All of the different images she had in her head of what a farm should look like, this definitely wasn't it.

Gina stood on the other side of the courtyard holding the door to the building open. Above the door a small, hand carved sign read The Chop House. The very name filled Emily with images of dead animals she'd seen on a documentary about meat production. She stepped over the threshold and down into the building where she stared in shock. Nowhere in her line of sight could she see anything to link the room to dead animals. If anything, it looked more like a restaurant. On the left hand side was a small kitchen area where steam flew around the two men rushing between plates and pans. The rest of the room was filled with tables and chairs, of which most of them were filled.

'I thought this was a farm,' whispered Emily, but her query was drowned out by a bell ringing. Emily assumed it must mean the start of the meal.

A couple of people from each table stood up and walked across to a serving area where a tall man with long hair and piercings laid out plates, which were quickly snapped up. The food quickly disappeared from the counter and more appeared until there were only a handful of plates left.

'Come sit down,' said Gina, pushing her along the side of the room towards an empty table,

Naomi had already found a seat with a couple of people at another table. What was going on? Emily sat down beside Gina but couldn't keep her eyes off the commotion of people wanting food. The long haired man carried a couple of plates over and rested them on the table in front of her and Gina.

'New blood?' he smiled at her, showing off a gold tooth which shone brightly.

'Yes, I picked her up in town about an hour ago. This is,' Gina started to speak but stopped suddenly, frowning at Emily. 'I'm sorry, how rude of me, I haven't even asked your name.'

'It's Emily,' she said, taking a knife and fork from a wooden tub in the centre of the table.

'I'm Todd, been 'ere coming up three years. Enjoy yer meal and I'm sure I'll see you 'round.'

'Thank you,' said Gina, digging into her own meal.

The roast dinner on Emily's plate looked and smelled like the most amazing meal she'd ever been given. The lack of food over the last few days had left her so hungry that just sitting there was making her dribble. When she forked the first bite into her mouth it was like the whole world disappeared and all that matter at that moment was that plate. She ate with desperation. After she'd emptied the plate Todd took it away and brought a bowl of fruit for Emily to choose from. Her stomach felt relatively full but she still took a banana and a small tree of grapes.

'I should probably be going soon,' said Emily as she swallowed a piece of banana. 'Thanks for today.'

'Do you have somewhere to go?' asked Gina, raising her eyebrows at Emily.

As lovely as she was, Gina was making awfully large assumptions about her, albeit they were accurate, but Emily didn't really want anyone feeling sorry for her. She placed the empty grape tree on the table and stared at Gina.

'I'm sure I can find somewhere,' she said, unable to look her in the eye as the lie slipped from her lips.

'I've seen you every day this week,' said Gina. 'Wandering around the streets.'

'So you assumed I was homeless.'

'Yes.'

'Maybe I just didn't want to be at home.'

Gina considered her words carefully as though trying to decide what to say next. 'I saw you curl up under some boxes in a back alley one evening before I went home.'

'Oh.' Emily's heart sank and the wall she had attempted to build tumbled down around her. Her eyes filled with tears and her throat ached as she tried to keep them at bay.

'I'm not judging you Emily; I don't want you to tell me your whole life story unless you want to. I just want to help you.'

'By letting me stay at your house with all these people?' she asked, feeling a little ungrateful considering everything the woman had done for her.

'The Farm isn't just my house; it's a community I created for people who need somewhere to stay. When I met Todd he'd been kicked out of home by his wife, he had no job, no money and he was going to kill himself. Giving him a home was the best thing I ever did. I won't regret asking him to come here just like I won't regret asking you either. I think you can bring something really wonderful to this community, in fact, I know you can.'

'I'm an unemployed college dropout, what the fuck could I bring to somewhere like this?'

'I don't know yet.' Gina stood up and took the leftover fruit items over to the bin. Emily followed her. 'Maybe you don't either, but I'm happy to let you try.'

They left the dining room via a different exit which led out into a small corridor with many doors. They continued walking until they had turned a corner and stopped by one of the doors.

'These are the rooms. Stay tonight, it's getting dark now and no one has plans to go back to Bristol. If you want the room for longer it's yours, if you don't I'll get someone to drive you back into town in the morning.'

'I can stay here?' she asked, a little confused. She thought she was getting fed and sent back, she didn't expect anything more. Considering she had expected to be murdered, everything else was just a bonus.

'Do you want to stay here?' asked Gina with that dashing smile.

'Yes please,' she whispered. 'Maybe just for tonight.'

Taking a key out of her pocket Gina unlocked one of the doors and pushed it open, she flicked the light switch revealing a small room with a bed, a desk and a chair. It reminded Emily of the student accommodation booklets she had looked at with her parents for university. The room was simple and under any other circumstances Emily probably would have turned her nose up at just how basic it was. But her situation had changed. She couldn't be picky and the bed looked like the most comfortable thing in the world. Gina handed her the key and wished her a goodnight. Once the door had closed behind her Emily walked over to the bed, pulled back the covers and lay down. She planned to take off the clothes Naomi had given her or use the bathroom, but when she closed her eyes she realised just how tired she really was and drifted off to sleep.

**Please review. :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Why should I?

**Title:** Home

**Author:** Miss Peg

**Rating:** T

**Characters: **Emily, Naomi, Gina and some random OCs

**Summary: **Emily finds herself on the streets with little more than the clothes on her back. When a kind stranger picks her up and takes her home she discovers that home isn't necessarily the place where your relatives live.

**Disclaimer: **Emily and Naomi have never been mine...I like to think I can claim some ownership over Gina because we know so little about her, but ultimately she doesn't belong to me either.

**Notes: **Thank you soo much for another great response, since last week I gave a special mention to the anonymous reviewers, this time I'd like to send a special thanks to all the members out there who reviewed;** Daniiiii21, 1010'jin, utterchaos, Abnab, daniethegirl, MadHart, kaat12, mUfF MuNcHeR **and** tromana. **Thanks again to anyone who has put the story on story alert or those who added it to their favs, I really appreciate all the love.

Also, any Gen 3 fans out there please go read **tromana**'s fic Dancing in the Dark because she's an amazing writer but because she's new to the fandom she's not been getting as much love as she deserves: .net/s/7227105/1/Dancing_in_the_Dark

**Home**

**Chapter Three: Why should I?**

When she awoke she sat up on the bed and dangled her toes down against the soft carpet. For a few minutes she had become disoriented until the last twelve hours flooded her mind. Though mostly the thing that brought it all back was the smell of breakfast lingering in the air. Her stomach groaned loudly. She rubbed it to ease the ache, she hated the way it screamed for food. She waited in the room for a few minutes. What was she supposed to do now? Would someone come to her or was she supposed to leave the room and find someone? She only knew Gina, Naomi and Todd so the chances she would bump into one of them were smaller than she preferred.

Eventually her bowel insisted she get up and she rushed out of the room, her feet almost colliding with a pile of items by the door which she quickly hopped over. Emily found the bathroom a little way down the corridor. On returning to the bedroom she analysed whatever it was she had passed; a towel, sachets of soap and shampoo and her freshly cleaned clothes. Tucked between her clothes was a note.

_'Emily, when you wake please get yourself some breakfast from the Chop House. If Todd's not cooking there will be cereal and toast available. Make use of the shower if you want and when you've made a decision come to the house. I'll be in the kitchen with a cup of tea. Yours, Gina._'

A quick shower and a change of clothes later and Emily stood in the Chop House filling a bowl with a cheap version of Rice Krispies whilst waiting for the toaster to pop. No one was around which suited her nicely. The whole experience was a little strange. She didn't know anyone and she didn't feel very capable of starting up a conversation with people she didn't know. Visiting Gina in the main house was daunting enough. She emptied a small carton of milk into the bowl, carried it over to a table a few feet away and ate like it was her last meal. Then she buttered the toast and spread a thin layer of Marmite on it before demolishing the lot. A sign suggested she place her empty dishes and cutlery in an assortment of containers but the containers were upturned. The sign probably meant at breakfast time, not three hours later, she thought. Emily carried them through to the kitchen area where she found no sign of a dishwasher. How could anyone wash dishes for the twenty or so people who ate the night before without a dishwasher? She filled the sink with a little water and washing up liquid and cleaned up before returning to her room.

Emily carried the clothes she borrowed out to the main house. She knocked lightly on the door and waited for a response. Eventually she gave up and opened the door; it was unlocked just like it was the day before. Only this time Naomi wasn't marching down the stairs and instead of washing, the cat was fast asleep on a chair in the kitchen. She could see its tail moving in the distance. Slipping off her shoes she walked back down the now familiar hallway and into the kitchen. Exactly like her note said, Gina sat at the kitchen table with a pot of tea.

'Sit down love.'

'I'm sorry I'm late,' she said to Gina, a little sheepish.

'You're not late, I didn't specify a time.' Gina poured a cup of tea which she pushed across the table. 'Besides, it's not yet twelve. I imagine you needed your sleep.'

'Yes, thank you.'

Gina rested her hand upon Emily's wrist. The woman was nothing but a comfort to be around and Emily wondered why she doubted staying. She still didn't really know her, nor did she know where she was; a small part of her worried that it was all too good to be true, like some sort of dream.

'You seem a little reluctant,' said Gina, raising an eyebrow and returning her hand to her lap.

'I'm sorry,' Emily replied, staring into her teacup. She hadn't offended her and yet she needed to apologise. Gina appeared too lovely a person to doubt and if her recent problems had taught her anything, she would no longer turn down the caring hand of others.

'No need to apologise, Emily. If anyone should be apologising here it's me, I shouldn't have brought you here without telling you. You were in such a state I didn't feel comfortable leaving you out there for another night, I was going to explain but you fell asleep as soon as we got in the car.'

'It's okay,' said Emily and her lips curled into a smile. 'If I stayed, what would I even do here?'

'Anything you want.'

'Throw wild parties and trash the Chop House?' Emily laughed, though a little uncomfortably. They didn't know each other well enough for Gina to necessarily know that she was joking. Emily's cheeks turned red and she bowed her head in shame.

'We have parties once a month; you're allowed to bring a guest; though some are wilder than others.'

'Oh.' Emily looked up again, her mouth hanging open.

Everything about The Farm surprised her and the more she learnt the more confused she became. What sort of farm provided student-style accommodation for strangers, fed dozens of people at a time and held regular parties?

'I know it may be a little bewildering,' said Gina.

Emily shrugged her shoulders and turned her attention to the cat that had jumped up onto the table. It nuzzling her hand until she stroked its head and after a few strokes purred loudly. Emily turned again to Gina. 'I don't understand where I am.'

'I think Jimmy likes you.' Gina paused then smiled. 'Naomi and I used to live in a little yellow house in Bristol, it was a wonderful place but Naomi grew tired of me inviting random strangers back to spend the night. We only had one spare room plus the lounge, so there were a few instances when Naomi would wake up with someone else in her bed.'

The thought of Naomi waking up with strange men and even women in her bed made Emily laugh. Knowing her as little as she did Emily took on board what Gina told her, putting together a picture of what she was like. If she was to live there, she would have to get to know everyone. She cleared her throat and drank some of her tea. The taste was unfamiliar, something she couldn't quite place. Not something she disliked per se though she wasn't sure she liked it either.

'A few years ago my great Aunt Marjorie died leaving her farm and a bit of money to my mother but as my mum died when I was a teenagers and Marjorie had no other living relatives it was given to me. When we first came up here I knew that I had to do something special with this land and I promised Naomi we would have our own house that wouldn't be taken over by random strangers.'

She looked directly at her, with a slight smile curling up on her lips. 'You're not like most people, are you Gina?'

'Oh, I don't know about that. I was very fortunate in life to have enough. It feels wrong living without sharing it.'

Emily finished her tea and watched Gina do the same; the cat had now curled up on her lap and was asleep. She wasn't an animal lover in that she could take them or leave them but as she stroked its soft fur it left her with a feeling of comfort she'd never got from human contact before.

'He really likes you.'

'I like him too,' smiled Emily.

'How about I show you around? You're obviously undecided, perhaps knowing exactly where you'll be living will help.'

They emerged from the kitchen with the cat chasing behind, his little bell tingling as he moved. Gina took them further down the corridor past the kitchen where there was a lounge and study. Jimmy jumped up onto the sofa and curled up for another nap. In the study, Naomi appeared hard at work typing on a laptop and moving papers about the desk in front of her. She barely glanced up when Gina explained she was doing a degree at the university and somehow still found time to help keep track of their money.

Onwards Gina opened a door under the stairs which Emily expected to be another room or a cupboard when it actually came out on the other side of the corridor she had slept on.

'Every person or family that stays here has their own plan, some want to study or do training to improve their chances of getting a more stable job, others need an address and regular showers to stay in the position they're in.'

'And they all stay here for free?' Emily asked. She struggled to understand how any of it worked. Unless Gina was made of money, in which case everyone was very lucky.

Gina paused by a door and turned around. 'Everyone can stay for a set time for free, but it depends on the individual. A lot of people like it here so much that they want to continue living here after they get back on their feet. That's okay but we work out an amount of rent they pay for room and board which directly relates to what they're earning.'

'If I stayed here, I wouldn't have to pay anything then?' she reworded her question. Gina nodded.

'We ask that everyone, and that will include you, does their best to get their lives into a more stable condition. If you're not claiming Jobseekers Allowance we can help you sort that. If you're not working or if you'd prefer it, we have jobs here that are available for a short time. Everyone has little jobs anyway; we have a dishes rota in the Chop House for example. But as this place expands we need hands to make each job a little easier on me and Naomi. How do you like getting your hands dirty?'

Emily shrugged her shoulders. Gina pushed the door open. The room on the other side was larger than the bedroom Emily had been in the night before, though still too small to be anything but a bedroom or office.

'This is one of our new family bedrooms, up until now we've only had singles or doubles but we do get a few families coming to stay. In a communal living situation like this parents prefer to share a room with their children. Paul's our handyman; he's building some bunk beds and storage for each room. All we need to do now is paint it.'

'How can you even afford to do all this?' Emily asked then turned a light shade of pink, the intention of the question was to discover more about The Farm, not accuse Gina of having no money.

She chuckled and smiled at Emily whose cheeks returned to their usual pale pink. 'I spend a great deal of my time applying for pots of funding and writing to companies asking for help. We're a registered charity and without these extra pots of money we wouldn't have been able to do half the things we do. As I said Paul is our handyman, he was a joiner for twenty years before his business collapsed. Now he lives and works here. He earns a small wage from the work he does and stays for free.'

She closed the door behind them and carried on walking along the corridor past another couple of rooms that needed painting. Instead of turning right at the end of the corridor towards the Chop House they turned left.

'Down here there's a second kitchen for anyone who wants to cook their own meals, a large lounge room and library. There's a couple of computers in there which we don't mind you using. Priority goes to anyone doing job searches, filling in applications and updating their CVs. We also have a conservatory off the back with tables and chairs. That's everything inside.'

'There's more?'

'Oh yes, Emily, there's a lot more.'

They exited through a fire exit and walked out across a gravelled footpath towards a couple of outbuildings that were virtually invisible from the front of the house. Emily followed Gina inside where she covered her nose quickly. The smell out there was revolting. The building was what appeared to be a traditional barn with a number of different stalls of varying sizes.

'We keep a few animals back here, a couple of cows and goats for milking, at the other end is our chicken coop. We also have some pigs, though they're more for waste disposal than anything else.'

'You milk your own animals?'

'Yes. Janie's in charge of milking but we have a rota for anyone who wants to have a go. It's quite an experience, you should try it. Janie makes cheese and ice cream which are very tasty.'

'Wow.' Emily stared in awe at the barn, though it was near enough empty, the concept of making your own cheese was enough to leave Emily a little stunned. Someone had to make it for it to end up on the supermarket shelf; she just hadn't even contemplated that people can do it on a small scale.

'There's a small paddock on the other end of the chicken coop that's spilt up where we keep the animals in the daytime.'

They walked on past the second outbuilding which Gina explained was Paul's workshop.

'We also have several workspaces upstairs for anyone artists amongst us. A couple of outsiders rent space. We have an opening once every few months for them to exhibit their work. It's usually in the Chop House.'

'You do a lot,' said Emily as they walked around the building and out towards a large garden. Her mouth hung open as they stood by a fence on the outskirts. 'What's this?'

'This is our allotment; we grow fruit and vegetables which we use to cook most of our meals. There's a polytunnel at the far end so that production isn't seasonal. Benny, who joined us, only a few months ago had this crazy idea to start making our own cider. Before then our apple trees were only used for eating. He's looking into selling it to a few pubs.'

They returned to the house where Gina put some more water in the kettle and offered up a plate of biscuits. Emily took one and nibbled on the edge. For the first time in a long while she wasn't feeling very hungry.

'Have you made a decision?' asked Gina. She poured the water into the teapot and carried it over to the table with a couple of cups. 'I know it can be a lot to take in.'

'It's amazing,' said Emily with the biggest smile she could muster. 'I've never been anywhere so, it's just fantastic.'

'I hope that means you'll stay?'

'Yes, I'd love to.'

'Brilliant.' Gina stirred the teapot, returned the lid and poured out two cups. 'So, Emily, tell me, what are you aspirations in life?'

The question caught her off guard as she considered what Gina was asking. Her aspirations. She hadn't been able to think beyond the end of the week up until the day before, how could she think months into the future? Or further still?

'I don't know,' she said truthfully, staring at Gina with a look of trepidation.

'Don't worry love.' Gina placed her hand on Emily's wrist. 'Most people come here a little unsure of themselves; we'll help you find your place. How do you fancy a bit a painting tomorrow? Bill, Sandra and little Kieran want to move into one of the family rooms next week and Paul's nearly done with the furniture, so we need to get a coat of paint on before the carpet arrives on Friday.'

'Painting sounds great,' said Emily as she sipped on the hot tea; another strange tasting blend. She noted to ask Gina about it sometime.

The door creaked open and Jimmy stalked across the floor, jumping up onto the chair beside Emily, she reached out and stroked his head. If someone had told her two days before that she would be taken in by a lovely woman with a wonderful idea she would have thought it crazy. It didn't matter now though because as crazy as it seemed, she was given a chance and she wanted to make the most of it.

**Please review. :)**


	4. Chapter 4: Chicks Chickens&the Fuck Shed

**Title:** Home

**Author:** Miss Peg

**Rating:** T

**Characters: **Emily, Naomi, Gina and some random OCs

**Summary: **Emily finds herself on the streets with little more than the clothes on her back. When a kind stranger picks her up and takes her home she discovers that home isn't necessarily the place where your relatives live.

**Disclaimer: **Emily and Naomi have never been mine...I like to think I can claim some ownership over Gina because we know so little about her, but ultimately she doesn't belong to me either.

**Notes: Thank you so much for your patience. I've been having a really difficult few months lately. I've been suffering from depression, though it was undiagnosed for a while. I hit an alltime low in November/December and writing has been really difficult for a while now. But, I'm here, with another chapter (1/3 of which was written ages ago) and I hope you'll enjoy it. I can't guarentee the next chapter will be posted soon, but I really hope it will be. It all depends. I don't want to push myself because I have a habit of writing like crazy for a few days then burning out. Anyway, it's good to be back, I miss writing properly.**

**Home**

**Chapter Four: Chicks, Chickens and the Fuck Shed**

The chicken ran through the barn with little care as Janie ran after it, she chased it round the workshop and out towards the allotment where Emily sat on a wall, her feet dipped into the gravel path below, eating a sandwich. When the chicken ran past she wrapped her sandwich back up in its piece of foil and left it on the wall to join in the chase. She ran along the potato beds with Janie on her tail, and down between the polytunnel and the fence. There she backed the chicken into a corner and lunged at it. It squawked and pecked but Emily held on as tightly as she could without hurting it until Janie took it off her and they walked it back up to the chicken house.

'That was fun,' Emily grinned, falling into step beside Janie. She'd never touched a chicken before, let alone held one and actually it hadn't occurred to her to do so until the feathered thing was attempting to flap in her arms.

'You've obviously never kept chickens,' Janie said with a light chuckle. Emily smiled at her and took a slight detour in order to collect her sandwich. Back at the chicken house Janie had returned it to its home and was sweeping out the run. Emily stood on the outside watching with mild interest. She peered into the chicken house where heads bobbed about.

'I've seen you in the chop house.' Jane stopped what she was doing and looked up at Emily; she nodded her head and picked up a second broom.

'I'm Emily.'

'I would introduce myself, but I imagine Gina's already told you all about me.'

'She told me a little.'

Janie smiled. 'She likes to give people a tour when they arrive. That must mean you got here sometime last week, I've been in Bristol for a few days, only got back yesterday.'

'I've been here a week.'

'How are you finding it?'

'It's different.' Emily began sweeping alongside Janie. 'I couldn't imagine living anywhere else though.'

'It does that to you. I've been here for eight months. I grew up on a farm though, lived there until I moved to uni.'

'Bristol or UWE?'

'UWE.'

They brushed in silence until they'd cleared the run and Janie showed her where the hay was, which they fed to a couple of horses at the far end of the barn. The smell twisted Emily's stomach up in knots at first until her nose gave in and accepted it. They milked the cows and though Emily had no idea what she was doing, she rose to the challenge.

'It's supposed to go in the bucket,' Janie said with a soft chuckle. Emily rolled her eyes and tried again. The cow's teats were warmer than she expected.

'This is weird,' she said once the milk had begun flowing. 'Why is it so warm?'

'Why do you think?' asked Janie. Emily shrugged and continued to squirt milk into the bucket. 'Milk doesn't come from a fridge; it's been inside the cow's body.'

'Makes sense.' Emily stood up and stretched, kneeling down beside the cow was tiring and her back had already begun to ache. When she knelt again the bucket tipped over sending milk flying across the ground.

'Spilt a bit,' Janie laughed as Emily jumped back to avoid the milk going over her clothes.

'No shit Sherlock,' she rolled her eyes and kicked some of the milk in Janie's direction.

'Don't get me wet just because you can't control yourself.'

Emily raised an eyebrow and couldn't stop herself from laughing hard. 'You don't want to get wet?'

'I didn't mean it like that.'

'No, of course you didn't.'

The two of them continued laughing until Emily could barely breathe. She rested a hand on Janie's shoulder and for the first time since arriving at The Farm wondered if this was what it felt like to belong. Once the laughter died down she stared up at Janie with her short dark curls and her friendly face.

'What?' she asked, noticing Emily watching her.

'Nothing.' Emily smiled. 'I should go back inside; I'm supposed to be painting.'

'Best get inside, don't want Gina coming out here and dragging your cute little arse back inside.'

'My cute little arse?' Emily raised an eyebrow and frowned. She'd had a feeling about Janie since the moment she handed her the chicken. She didn't expect to know for sure so soon. Janie simply grinned.

'See you around.'

The time Emily had spent with Janie and the animals was something she enjoyed more than she ever anticipated. If someone had told her a year ago that she'd be living in the middle of nowhere milking cows, she'd have told them to go and fuck themselves. In reality, it felt like the right place to be. Emily headed back to the house with a grin on her face and one thing on her mind.

'Gina,' she called out as she passed her in the hallway. 'Glad I ran into you, I wanted to speak to you about work.'

'Let me guess,' said Gina with a smirk. 'You've found your calling; you want to work with Janie and the animals?'

Emily stared at Gina, how had she known? Then the older woman reached down to the side of her head and pulled a couple of piece of straw from her hair. Her cheeks flushed and she glanced down at her shoes, they were filthy, how Gina managed to keep the floors so clean when people traipsed mud in every single day, she wasn't sure.

'I had fun milking the cows and chasing chickens.' Emily lifted her head and stared into Gina's eyes long enough to assure her that she was serious.

Gina smiled and gave a brief nod. 'It's your life Emily, it's up to you. Finish off your work in the bedroom today and you can start working with Janie in the morning.'

Clearing up the paintbrushes and paint, Emily finished off her work and left the room with a fresh coat of paint on it. She stood by the door to admire her work one last time. She'd never really done much painting before, only her bedroom at home and she'd had help. A bubbling feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.

'Finished already?'

Emily turned around at the sound of Gina's voice; her smile grew twice as large as Gina admired her handy work. She felt elated at her achievement and even more so knowing that Gina appreciated what she'd done.

'Janie's about to start the evening milking, if you wanted to help,' said Gina, a glint in her eye. Emily tried her best not to roll her eyes. As lovely as Gina was, she seemed to be awfully perceptive, something which made Emily feel a little unnerved. Not for any bad reason, necessarily, she just didn't like the idea of being watched.

xxx 

The night began with a buffet prepared by Andy, a spread of sandwiches, kebabs, salads and more. When Emily entered the Chop House she could barely contain her excitement. Not only at the range of food on offer, which made her mouth water just thinking about it, but also the decoration. Gina had spent a good portion of the last hour or so putting up lights and decorations. A banner hung across the centre of the room with Happy Birthday across it. She wasn't sure whose birthday it was, but Emily wondered if they were always celebrated in such style. When she spotted Janie across the room, Emily walked over. Other than Gina, Naomi and Andy, she didn't really know many people yet and seeing a familiar face made her feel considerably more comfortable.

'Recovered from the cow?' she smirked.

'Just about. Never in all of these months has a cow ever stamped on my foot,' Janie raised an eyebrow and smirked back.

'You still blame me?' asked Emily, chuckling.

'I blame you for dropping the milk, which made the cow lift her hoof.'

'Your foot's okay though, right?' she checked, relieved when Janie nodded her head.

The free flow of alcohol, food and music made the evening fly by until Emily found herself sat in a quiet corner talking with Janie. They'd spent almost the whole night together. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much fun with one person. As Janie talked away at her, Emily couldn't stop her mind from wandering. It had been months since she'd met anyone she liked, and having not had a proper drink in a while the alcohol was already going straight to her head.

'Do you know what I mean?' said Janie.

Emily nodded her head, she had no idea. Her cheeks flushed as she realised that she'd zoned out, her attention had instead landed upon Janie's lips and with that Emily's heart fluttered with nerves. They hadn't mentioned sexuality but Emily had a really good gaydar, she wasn't usually wrong. So where was the harm? Before she could lose her nerve, she leant forwards and pressed her lips gently against Janie's.

Their lips rested together for a moment before Emily attempted to deepen the kiss. Janie, however, pushed Emily away leaving her red faced and disappointed.

'What are you doing Emily? I'm straight.'

Straight or not, Emily could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't even look at Janie as she fled the room, escaping out the nearest door which led out into the courtyard. She stopped as the cool air hit her face, followed by a waft of sweet smoke. Emily glanced up to a small table where Naomi stood with a young man who Emily recognised a little. She was about to march past them towards the gate but Naomi had already caught her eye.

'You alright?' she asked. Emily tried to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks, but she couldn't. As she stood there, in the cold night air, with tears streaming down her face, she felt an arm wrap around her shoulder. 'What's wrong?'

'I made a fucking stupid mistake.'

'What did you do?'

'Sam!' Naomi shouted, hitting the young man on the arm.

'I kissed Janie and she fucking rejected me.'

'You're gay?' said Naomi, a hint of surprise in her voice. Emily nodded. 'See mum said you were but I wasn't sure.'

Emily let out a groan and covered her tear stained face. 'Your mum knows?'

'She has a really good gaydar,' said Naomi, a sympathetic smile spread across her face. 

'Oh right.'

The thought of everybody knowing that she was gay, left Emily feeling on the outside. She didn't want to be the one everyone stared at, the one everyone pointed at and laughed. 

'Don't worry she doesn't spread the word amongst the troops, just me and Jimmy.' 

Emily didn't think her fears were obvious until Naomi had spoken, she tried to settle her nerves, but it was hard. She tried to stop the flow of tears but they just kept on coming.

'Come with us,' said Naomi, wrapping a hand around Emily's upper arm and gently pushing her across the courtyard. Emily responded and followed Naomi and Sam down a small passage at the side of the house and out towards a space Emily hadn't visited before.

'Where are we going?'

'It's a surprise,' said Naomi and they continued on along the dark path, through some tall grass until they reached a small shed that looked like it needed demolishing. Naomi played with a latch until the door swung open.

'Where are we?' said Emily.

'My secret hiding place,' responded Naomi, her voice high and excited like a small child. 'No one else is allowed out here unless I say they can. Mum and I made a deal when we moved in that I would get somewhere just for me.'

'So you chose a falling apart shed?'

Naomi let out a small laugh and walked into the room. When the lights flickered on, Emily stared around the brightly lit room in shock. She didn't expect it to be so, homely. Instead of the wobbly wooden walls and holes in the windows, the inside was painted a simple shade of white and a couple of old, but still in relatively good condition sofas sat in the middle of the room.

'Welcome to the Fuck Shed,' Sam laughed, digging into a box in the middle of the room.

Naomi sat down on one of the sofas and patted the seat beside her, Emily joined her and they sat in an awkward silence for a moment.

'Is it nice having people your own age around?' she asked.

'I guess.' Naomi shrugged. 'Before Sam came a few weeks ago I used to hang out with a guy named Tommy, but he worked things out with his family and moved back home.'

'Do you miss him?'

Naomi raised an eyebrow as if to tell Emily not to ask so many questions. 'I'm glad Streetboy came, he's a boy genius, makes my job trying to manage the accounts a lot easier.'

'Why aren't you an accountant?' Emily asked Sam as he closed the box and threw a bag at Naomi.

He stared at her, his eyes glaring down at them both before he walked out of the shed. Emily's cheeks flushed, then looked at Naomi, who was staring at her with a disapproving look.

'Did I do something wrong?'

'People aren't always forthcoming with they're here, it's better to ask them about the future, not the past.'

Emily frowned. It didn't make any sense to her. She'd learnt to socialise with people by asking them about their lives, in a place like The Farm, the first thing she wondered about every person she met was how they arrived there.

'Why are you here?' asked Naomi. Emily sunk into the sofa and stared at her hands. 'And what do you want to do now?'

'I'd like to find a job, maybe get my own flat,' she replied without even thinking about it.

'See?'

**I would really like some reviews, please? :)**


	5. Chapter 5: Living a Lie

**Title:** Home

**Author:** Miss Peg

**Rating:** T

**Characters: **Emily, Naomi, Gina and some random OCs

**Summary: **Emily finds herself on the streets with little more than the clothes on her back. When a kind stranger picks her up and takes her home she discovers that home isn't necessarily the place where your relatives live.

**Disclaimer: **Emily and Naomi have never been mine...I like to think I can claim some ownership over Gina because we know so little about her, but ultimately she doesn't belong to me either.

**Notes: Thank you so much for all of the reviews and your kind words of support. I've been doing some fanfic challenges lately so have been rather busy elsewhere, then I hit a good place with ideas for this, so hopefully I'll feel able to write more. Fingers crossed. Special thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter: Michelle1017, Big Smile, fakevegan, Snatch, pictishx, staycoolsodapop, R3dN0te, LoveNAOMILY, goosewriter, Abnab, M, Levine1111, CrystalKR1. And an extra special thanks to Red for helping me to throw about some ideas and for the general support in writing this.**

**Home**

**Chapter Five: Living A Lie**

The next morning Emily arrived at the barn bright and early and ready for work until Janie arrived reminding her of what had happened the night before. Her cheeks grew red and she continued to sweep the floor in order to distract herself from the inevitable conversation.

'Gina told me you'd be helping out,' Janie said, cloaking Emily in her shadow.

'Um, good,' Emily whispered, barely glancing up. She continued to sweep the floor until she could feel Janie's eyes burning holes into her skin.

'Can we talk?'

'I guess,' replied Emily.

'Properly,' said Janie, taking hold of the brush. Emily wasn't ready to give up her safety net which led to a pathetic little tussle, which Janie won. Emily walked across the barn to a couple of chairs where she sat down, hoping that the ground would swallow her whole before Janie could take the seat beside her.

It didn't.

'I'm sorry if I upset you, or embarrassed you. I should have realised sooner that you'd taken a shine to me.'

'Yeah, well,' she whispered, shrugging her shoulders and staring at an ant as it scurried along the floor carrying a piece of the cows feed on its back.

'I used to think I was gay, you know? But things change.'

Emily sat up straight and stared at Janie's face, she frowned. 'Sexuality doesn't.'

'Not entirely, no.' Janie shifted her position until her hands rested underneath her thighs. 'I don't let that part of me exist.' 

'Why not?' 

'The past. It's hard to shake, know what I mean?'

The last few weeks, months, even years had been anything but easy. Emily considered every step she'd taken in order to be comfortable with who she was, with her sexuality. She remembered all of the times, especially growing up, when she would pretend to be something she wasn't simply to get around the problem of her mother.

'Yeah, I guess I do.' 

Janie reached her hand out and rested it on Emily's knee. 'It's not that I don't like you Emily, you're a lovely girl and anyone would be lucky to call you theirs. I just can't be her.'

Her cheeks flushed again, despite the conversation, Emily was still considerably embarrassed by the situation. However, at least she could find some solace in knowing that he gaydar wasn't defected after all, it just worked too well. She smiled at Janie and nodded her head.

Then Janie leant forwards and placed a single kiss on her lips. 'Thank you for being a doll.'

She walked off across the barn towards the pigs and Emily sat silently for a moment, contemplating the life she was now leading. Some of it she had accepted completely and other bits, she wasn't sure she could ever fully understand.

'Wait,' Emily muttered then repeated it louder until Janie turned around. She stood up and allowed her diaphragm to expand as she spoke loudly. 'Why don't you people ask questions?'

Janie stared at her momentarily. 'Nobody wants to give answers.' 

'Maybe I'm not nobody.'

'If you want to talk Emily, you can.' Janie shrugged her shoulders and picked up a bag of food. 'But I won't force you to.'

She walked across the barn and stopped in front of her shaking her head. 'How do you do it?'

'Do what?'

'Ignore one of the biggest parts of you?'

After everything she'd been through, after the fight she'd put up to be who she was in spite of everything, she couldn't quite understand how anyone could behave like their sexuality wasn't even part of them. Yet at the same time, she felt envious that she hadn't thought of it sooner.

'I've always tried to make it as small as possible,' said Janie, honestly.

'But what if it's not?'

'I don't know Emily, I'm not an expert. I can't even accept that for me.'

Emily lowered her head and let out a sigh. 'I don't want to be this way, maybe if I was someone else I could go home.'

Neither of them said anything for a few moments, moments which at first felt awkward and uncomfortable until somehow the comfort level changed and Emily finally looked up from her feet.

'Do you know why I love living here?' said Janie, her smile reaching her eyes.

'Why?'

'Because the people don't care who I am or where I came from. I can be this messed up person who has no idea who they are and I still have a place doing something I love.'

'I don't even have that,' admitted Emily, rubbing at her eyes as tears built up in the corners.

'I know,' said Janie, resting a hand upon Emily's shoulder. 'But you will. You'll find your place here and that'll matter more than anything.'

She nodded and reached for the bag of food that Janie had retrieved from the floor. But something still bothered her.

'Don't you want to know who you are?'

'I guess. But when it gets too hard being who I am, I come out here and remember what I'm good at.'

Janie returned to feeding the pigs and Emily spent some time with her thoughts, she walked across the yard towards the main buildings and back again. When she returned to the barn Janie was sweeping out the stables. A car's tyres crackled along the gravelly dirt floor of the private road leading to The Farm, Emily turned around, curious as to the noise. When she spotted the police car moving closer and closer, she retreated further into the barn until she stood in a corner, her hands resting on the two walls, her breath hitched in her throat.

'I don't ask questions, but are you alright?' asked Janie, joining her in the darkest corner. She nodded, though knew her eyes were deceiving her. Janie smiled and returned to her work and Emily regretted not saying more. Given a little prodding she'd probably have admitted the whole sorry story, maybe it was a good thing people didn't even ask once.

She sat down in the corner of the barn and hugged her knees, counting endless numbers with the hope that something would change. She didn't know when to move, whether it was safe or if perhaps the police would enter the barn at any given moment. Relief settled in the pit of her stomach when Janie informed her of their departure.

'You're sure?'

'They got into their car and drove back to the main road, watched it with my own eyes.'

'Good,' said Emily, standing up in her safe corner.

She pushed a smile back onto her face, no matter how fake, and set to work. She'd barely finished organising the food when she heard Janie telling someone that she was in the back. She turned around, her heart beating a thousand times faster than she would have liked, even after seeing Gina stood facing her.

'I think we need a chat,' she said and Emily knew that she couldn't hide anymore.

Emily followed her out to the allotment where they sat down on a picnic table at the far end; it overlooked a neighbouring field where they kept a couple of horses. Emily played with her cuticles, her hands resting on her leg to stop it from shaking.

'Do you know what this is about?' Emily shrugged. 'The police seem to think that you're on some missing person's list.'

Emily stared at her lap. 'You didn't tell them I was here, did you?'

'I can't reveal the names of anyone staying in my care unless there's due cause,' said Gina, reaching a hand out to Emily's. She took Emily's fingers and held her hand between them, a simple act of kindness that made her feel at ease. She felt guilty.

'I'm sorry.'

'We don't ask questions, but I need to know why they think you're a missing person, Emily.'

Emily wiped at her eyes as tears fell from her lids, she didn't want to do this, not now, not ever. Gina had been so kind to her, she couldn't bear the thought of lying to her and yet she couldn't bear the thought of telling her the truth either.

'Maybe they felt bad,' she muttered.

'Your parents?'

Emily nodded.

'I assumed that they kicked you out.'

Emily stayed silent.

'And now they can't find you and they're worried?'

'I guess.'

They continued to sit in silence and though at first it felt comfortable, the more time that passed the harder it became. Emily could sense Gina staring at her, she feared the things she couldn't say and the things she didn't ever want to. Why did her life have to feel so complicated?

'I think you're either lying to me, or keeping the whole truth,' said Gina, letting out a long, deep, disappointed sigh.

'I'm not,' Emily snapped, defensively, though she knew that Gina had her pegged. She stood up, forcing Gina's hand away from her lap as she rushed towards the buildings.

She turned around just once as she entered the Chop House. Gina wasn't following her, which she was relieved about. She loved Gina, she trusted her, she couldn't stand knowing what she'd done. She ran to her room where she packed a bag and carried what little belongings she had back out to the courtyard. When she realised she'd have to walk right past Gina and Janie, she changed her mind and ran back into the house. She didn't even know what the fuck she was doing, or where she would go. She had nowhere to go and no one to help her. She pushed open another door which lead out to the back of the building, there she walked along the grass and stumbled over a hedgerow before running off across a field. She didn't know where she was going or when she would arrive at anything other than more fields, until, without even trying, she arrived at the Naomi's shed. 

'Fucking hell,' she shouted as she tried to open the shed door, the lock was fixed firmly and there was no way inside. She banged the door with her fist and crumbled to the floor.

How had her life fallen apart so much so quickly? She shook with tears, pawing at her face like a cat having a wash. She didn't want to cry anymore, she didn't want to feel sad. There was just little other option. Her life had broken and she was left with a tattered mess. The home she thought she had discovered was no longer a place of comfort and support, it only aided her in feeling even lonelier.

'What the fuck's going on?'

Emily lifted her head at the sound of Naomi's voice; she snaked between Emily and the door in order to unlock it. Neither of them said another word as Naomi allowed her into the building. She smiled at her, thankfully, and sought solace in the small, smelly room. Naomi didn't say anything more. She rolled a cigarette, or maybe a spliff, Emily wasn't sure until the sweet smoke reached her nostrils.

'Life's fucking shit,' said Naomi as she passed the spliff over to Emily. She took it and revelled in how relaxed it made her feel. For once that day she could forget that she'd ever fucked her life up yet again.

'Don't tell anyone I'm here, yeah?' she whispered.

Naomi didn't say anything for a while, was too busy fussing around a beaten up old CD player. When a track from some nineties band came on she sat back down on the sofa beside Emily.

'I won't tell anyone you're here if you don't tell anyone that I have a pot plant growing in a small room in the back of the shed.'

Emily smiled her first honest smile since her life went downhill. She held out her little finger and though Naomi stared at her clueless, she linked it with Naomi's in promise. They lay on the sofa smoking and getting lost in the depression that was Naomi's taste in music and for a while, life didn't seem so bad after all.

**Leaving a review would make my day, it only takes a minute! :)**


	6. Apology: sorry, not a chapter

Major apology:

I really feel I need to apologise for sort of falling off the face of the earth. Believe me, if I had a choice in how to fill these months of unemployment, I'd be writing, writing, writing.

Unfortunately that's near enough impossible at the moment.

The medication I'm on for depression has had a huge effect on creativity, well, it's stopped me from feeling able/motivated to write. I can't prove that because I'm still taking them, but the considerable lack of writing this year has been troubling me for longer than I'd like.

Sorry I've not been able to update this, or any other, story. I really hope to be back with you all soon, though I fear it's still months away.

Thanks for your patience.


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